My poor blog has been neglected.
I feel like this is such a busy time for so many people in my life right now. People are gearing up to go back to school, some are starting new jobs, photographer friends are glued to their computers editing away, seems like everyone is having a baby soon, and is it seriously already the end of August?! Where the heck did the summer go?! This wedding season is at it’s busiest for me right now. I’ve lost all track of time…I hardly ever remember what day of the week it is. Sometimes I get so focused on my editing that I forget to eat all day. My poor friends have taken a backseat to my business…which is NOT okay. I’m lucky that they love me regardless of how many times I have to turn down hanging out because of work. This has to change…
What a great start to a blog post eh? I sound like such a debbie-downer…but this is just me getting things off my chest and venting to whoever cares to read this blog. I haven’t written a personal blog post in quite some time now…every time I start to write one, I end up deleting it because they are all over the place and make no sense really. So I apologize ahead of time if this blog post seems pointless and is hard to understand. My mind has been going, going, and going about so many different things in life. I feel like ever since I returned from my trip to Africa I’ve been in such a funk. I began questioning so many things about my life that I had never really thought about…
Am I suppose to be a wedding photographer?
Am I suppose to be living in Seattle?
Should I just drop everything I’m doing and be on mission full-time?
Does my family reaaally know me? Do my friends truly know me?
Should I consider going back to school?
Will I ever make a relationship work? Or get married?
The questions seem to be endless and can be quite stressful when you just can’t. figure. it. out. I guess that is the beauty of life, you CAN’T have everything figured out. I have this unsettling urge to just have complete control over my life, the way it looks, and the way it turns out…but I know I don’t have any of that control. God does. That is where my two biggest struggles come in…FAITH & CONTENTMENT. I at least have peace in knowing that God will show me where He wants me. He will open all the right doors on His perfect timing. Even though my heart knows this…I still struggle…I will always struggle.
With being a girl. A girl who is single. A girl who is single and works from home. A girl who is single and works from home while editing beautiful couples who are deeply in love…believe it or not…it’s kind of tough. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE what I do and I LOVE my couples to death…but as strange as this sounds, being surrounded by people in love 24/7 makes me feel more alone than ever. Stupid girl problems, I know I know…don’t judge me. I’m just being honest haha. As silly as I feel admitting that to the world…I mostly write this stuff out on my blog because I love looking back at blog posts…going back and reading about those tough seasons in my life and being able to see just how God worked it all out. With every tough season in my life, I grow…I become a stronger woman. I learn things about myself that I never knew. Tough seasons suck, don’t get me wrong…but I can look back at every single one and find that I am extremely thankful for it.
To end this blog post, I just want to say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to all my wonderful clients, my amazing friends, and faithful blog readers. You guys are a HUGE reason, if not THE reason I continue doing what I do. My clients have stuck with me and have been so patient with me, I can’t express how thankful I am for that! All my friends have been patient with me as well…I’m making a public promise to be better…to put my time into the people I love because that is what truly matters in this life. And for all you crazy blog readers who continue to stick around and send me awesome emails…you all are amazing.
(deep sigh)…I feel much better now. Thanks guys. Happy Tuesday.
I can completely relate to this, right now, today, in this very moment. Thanks for sharing. PS it was so lovely to meet you yesterday =)
no such thing as silly girl problems 😉 you have a strong sense of passion, commitment, intuition, sensitivity, strive for purpose and compassion. those are all good things, they just make life tough sometimes. oh how easy it’d be just to be one of those people who float through life! but where’s the joy in that 😉 every single reader will completely relate with what you’ve shared. life is almost always in this state. it’s exciting but frightening. there’s so much in store for you. it is hard to wait and see. but now is all we even have. love you so much. praying for your answers/guidance/patience/clarity/everything you need.
Another well written blog. Got to love the humbleness/openness. Keep doing what you do!
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Easier said than done, but God’s timing is always perfect and you are right where you are supposed to be.:)
Your are amazing and you better not stop being a photographer because I want to be able to intern with you! You are great at what you do and a beautiful person inside and out.
Hey this is why i you are my photographer. I know exactly how you feel and i love that you posted this because it shows all your clients the Godly beautiful person that you are. God is doing amazing things through you and this blog seriously ministered to my heart and made me so excited for you to be my photographer cause i feel like i have FRIEND to stalk me all day. You are awesome.
Tonhya, I know we’ve never met, but I absolutely love following your blog and looking at your pictures because 1.) you are EXTREMELY talented 2.)you seem like a fun & down to earth girl & 3.) You are a woman of God! You are truly an inspiration to not only me, but to everyone around you! So for that, I thank you 🙂 Don’t ever give up on the plan that God has for you, because it is an amazing one! Find rest in him & seek him daily and he will lead you to where you need to go. I hope that if anything, I can encourage you in this small way 🙂 Thanks for everything you do!!
I love you Ton Ton!! I’m so looking forward to seeing you in the next couple weeks!!
Love your work, love that you are a Christian who freely talks about her beliefs, love your honesty. It’s so refreshing! xo
we are in this together.
This is what I love most about you..
Tonhya, you are honestly one of the most fabulous women I have ever known! Besides being gorgeous, you’re incredibly talented, responsible, hard-working, so much fun and as Nathan likes to say, “you’re going to be famous one of these days.” I’m so glad that you were our photographer and most of all, we are so happy that we’ve been able to have you as one of our great friends! God does have incredible things in store for you, in addition to an INCREDIBLE man to match your awesome-ness! I am so excited for you and look forward to seeing what he’ll bless you with next! 🙂
Amen sister! Ugh I can completely relate on the busy! Sending you encouragement and hugs!
Hey! I’ve never commented before, but I’ve been following your blog for several months now. 🙂 This post just really hit home for me. I totally feel the same way in my life right now. It’s like I wrote this post. ha. Sometimes I just wonder if I’m really doing what I should be doing, but I know God has a perfect plan for me and I can trust Him. Even knowing that….sometimes I feel very alone…especially when everyone around me is getting married or engaged or starting a family. Just thought I’d say hey and you’re not alone in how you feel. Trusting God’s heart of love….
I have never met you before but have been a follower of your blog for about a year..I have been completely addicted ever since. Your work is absolutely beautiful and I find myself checking the site a couple times a week to see if you’ve added posts. The creative way you capture the love between two couples is inspiring. Sometimes you may not know how the Lord is going to use your work to touch others, but I can tell by your reviews, and the results of your photo shoots that He has given you an amazing talent. Keep doing what you do girl! It’ll reveal itself in time 🙂
You are so so dearly loved miss tonhya!
You know you’re doing something right when you feel out of your comfort zone, challenged, questioning. It means you’re going places. Isn’t it nice to trust in a God who will makes things work out for the best in the end? I admire you, Tohnya. You are going to score a good man.
Tonhka,
So you dont know me, but I have followed your work, and I think it is absolutely inspiring. Not only because you are talented, but because you are following your bliss…even if you are uncertain… I actually am good friends with Andria…I guess that is how I saw your work:) Im living in NYC to finish school, but I am originally from Seattle.
Anyways…I just have to tell you how much of a sigh of relief I guess when I read this past Blog post..why? Because I feel the same thing ALL the time. Im guessing you are in your 20’s, but i swear, no one ever told us that your 20’s would be the most terrifying and confusing time in our lives. I too am so confused with what I want to do with my life…and making sure its the “right” thing to do. But keep going…follow your gut, follow your heart. and all you can do is trust that God has a marvelous plan for you…(Andria reminds me of that too:) It is scary. But you have a gift….and at the end of the day…when we live and walk in our own truths, we will truely be happy for what we have, because we have created that bliss.
I would love to perhaps meet up with you and Andria when I get back to seattle in December. Take care! 🙂
Kathleen
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