This hits home for me.
…and maybe it does for you too?
It seems like every year I go through this. This thing. This thing that eats at me. I’m not proud of it…
I’ve had so many conversations with other photographers about this same topic, I don’t think I’m alone. I’ve said it before…this isn’t new. It’s so easy to get caught up in looking at the person next to you and wonder why you don’t have the success they have. You begin to beat yourself up and dissect everything you do or don’t do. There are so many things I love about being a photographer…seriously, so many. But there are also things that I hate…if I’m going to be honest here.
I hate that we somewhat have to “sell” ourselves in this business. It’s a weird thing to try and do successfully without making yourself seem full of it and disingenuous. It’s a game I’d rather not play…ya know what I mean? Another thing I’m not fond of, but realize how impactful it can be is:
SOCIAL MEDIA.
Oh social media…I have a love/hate relationship with you…oh yes I do. I’m trying to get better at using social media as a marketing/connecting tool…but OH MY GOSH it can be such a DISTRACTOR. I think my productivity has gone down a significant amount since I joined TWITTER. Gosh dang you twitter…
Okay enough venting about that, back to what I was saying…
I had a very lovely conversation with a friend last night and it really made me think. It made me realize just how much the quote I posted above is SO DEAD ON TRUE. “COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY” Being comparative has taken my joy away. Always looking at the person next to me has taken my joy away. Feeling like I have to portray some type of “cool kid” status has taken my joy away. *sigh* I’m exhausted people. And please don’t think this is a “woe is me” type of post…it’s more of a venting post that I seem to come out with every other month or so. I know y’all just love em’…right?! RIGHT?! hee hee.
The fact that I have this struggle does not surprise me one bit. The one thing I struggle with most in life is just being content. Being content with my life, my work, where I live, the list goes on. I know God is working on this with me. The thing that gave me peace last night after I had this conversation with this friend is when she said, “It’s all His and for His glory anyways. We have to be willing to lay it all down at any time. It’s all His”. I love you Jenny. She could not be more right about this. I have to stop wasting time comparing myself to those around me and just focus on glorifying the One who gave me this freakin’ gift in the first place. Easier said than done of course but this is a challenge for me and for anyone else who feels the exact way I do.
Here’s to challenging ourselves and being content with not being the “cool kid”. Happy Thursday.
Photo Credit: Ryan Flynn
Hey Tonhya, I’m one of your secret blog stalkers who never comments but just hides in the shadows. But I just wanted to thank you for this post. I wrote a similar one on my blog just a few weeks ago but I’m also just a new and emerging photography who TOTALLY looks up to your work and imagines that one day I’ll be half as good as you. Its so interesting for me to hear someone I really admire say that they have the same trouble with comparing themselves to others as I do. I’m not sure if this is all coming out in a coherent way, but for whatever its worth I just wanted to say that I think your work is incredible and I can sense your inner beauty through your blog posts! And your friend is right, its all about God and it all belongs to Him…and He’s who we are supposed to honor and glorify in everything! From the outside looking in, I’d say that you’re doing a darn good job of using the talents He gave you! And, thanks so much for being so transparent – it helps us newer photogs more than you know! 🙂
Augh! That is the greatest quote because it’s SO true. You definitely aren’t alone in your thoughts/feelings and I don’t know about you, but sometimes that’s exactly what makes me feel better – knowing I’m NOT alone and that my frustrations and concerns are “normal,” for lack of a better term. I’ve only had my business about 6 months and it’s all I can do NOT to constantly compare myself to others but instead focus on what I’m doing and improving on that. It’s not something I’ve mastered, but I try to remember what it is I love about photography and let that feeling guide me 🙂 Thank you for sharing!
I love your honesty, and I absolutely love this. I struggle with this as well in regards to my married friends. Yes almost all of my friends and I are at different places in life, but that does not keep me from wanting to be someplace in life I am not, or getting a tad down on myself when I see my friends 3 story house and all the decorating she is doing and all the money she gets to spend on crafts and pottery barn. It’s silly and selfish really. I totally understand what you mean though. I feel stupid for even thinking what I do after writing it out, haha. Girl you are so talented. I am sure its crazy hard not to compare yourself with others. But the beauty of your photography is that its done by YOU and no one else! You took those gorgeous pictures of my husband and family and friends and I! No one else did. You are super talented, and God is using you in amazing ways! Love ya girl!
If you were to know my mother, you’d tell me I sound like her…. Amen friend!! So dead on. Why does it seem that every time you go thru this funk, I too am going thru it?! Happy I’m not alone but I’m looking to practice what you preach for 2012! Thanks for the encouragement…. It’s always needed! Love you!
I REALLY needed this. I just announced my new website last night and the past week (but especially today) I’ve been thinking, “But it’s not showit, so it’s not that good. But I can’t afford showit, so it’s the best I can do! …but other people’s websites are gorgeous. But other people are better photographers. But you can’t afford showit anyways because you’ve been saving for a lens for 2.5 years and are still a ways from getting it. But you’re probably not going to make it in this anyways. There are too many photographers now…and even if YOUR town needs a good one, there’s still excess of camera toting so-called artists.” Ugh. But, but but. GOD HAS A PLAN. Comparing ourselves to others will hinder. How are we as Christians supposed to be confident when we are doubting ourselves, and even Him in us? Keep up your work, Tonhya. 🙂 You have major fans! (like me, ha. :))
Sorry this comment is so darn long…I just got a little carried away being in the same “boat” as you, as far as emotions go. 🙂
Beautiful & brave Tonyha. Love your vulnerability…just be you & it will all come together! You’re His favorite! xo
Tonhya, you are so good at saying what I feel. I saw this quote the other day too and it struck me. Too often I compare myself to other photographers, other friends, other people. Too often I find myself thinking if I’d done things differently… or If I only had XYZ… The best advice I was given recently was to give up social media, pinterest, blogs, etc and reach back down inside myself and find my truth. My essence. I think that might be the way to go for Lent. A media fast. T, you are amazing and awesome and speak words I couldn’t dream of stringing together coherently. Thank you for your honesty & venting 🙂
Amen sister!
Thank you for sharing your convictions & heart. This strikes a chord with me as well as it can be tough to be content with what we have and not a “grass is greener” mind set when the world can be so loud at times. But, God is at work in you and through you – I can see it now and I’m excited to see where He takes you down the road.
Oh man sis, I hear ya. Especially hard in a creative field. Just know you are awesome, wonderful, and keep your focus like Jenny said. Difficult, but we all have to keep at it to live out our purpose and a fulfilled life.
right on! I was just struggling with this after a recent 0 for 3 client meeting run. The truth is, everyone needs to stop saying how “awesome” they are on social media and just be content. I never post when I have client meetings and/or book a wedding. It’s not important and not necessary… especially to those who ARE NOT booking any clients or have any inquiries. Right there with ya Tonhya.
hey ton. i think i do a moderate amount of internet surfing, stumbling, photo searching, pinteresting, and blog reading haha…and i subconsciously compare your work to a lot of the stuff out there. (not that it really matters), but your work is so amazing compared to much of the art/photography/vision/design/editing i’ve seen. it actually moves me to know that i have a friend– that little ol me knows someone who is so talented and so driven and so…cooL! haha so like i said, it doesn’t really matter how you compare to others because you’re special within yourself, but just so you know…i think you’re really gifted.
Tonhya,
I love the quote, I am going to have to post that one on FB. Growing up being a twin I know exactly how comparison’s can either hurt you or inspire you. Your Aunt Teri and I struggled with being compared with each other all our lives. People would compare us from our weight, our height, how pretty we were, our athletic we were, how smart we were the list goes on. Now look at us both, you do not compare us because we are our own individuals. We are nothing alike the only thing we have in common is that we have the same Wonderful parents, we share the same brothers and sisters and have great Nieces and Nephews. You are your own individual and no one can compare you to anyone, and your mother did a great job of letting you know that because you would not be where you are today. No one has held you back, the worse enemy is your self and you are the only one that can hold your self back. But I do not see you doing that, you are strong and can over come this obstacle you have faced. Remember this quote always, because JOY will be yours no matter what life brings you. You inspire me every time I look at your pictures, your blog, your website and I am sure you inspire many more people. Keep up the blog’s, the web-site etc. I love you!
Your Aunt Geri
good words, my friend! but you’re still the cool kid… 😉
I recently did a post on this and the quote, hehe. It’s so hard, so very hard not to. Thanks for your lovely words! We can do it 🙂 Hugs from Conroe, Tx
So refreshing. Yes. 🙂
Leave A
comment